


stupid hat

by chaoticautumn



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, its really just a short dumb thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-15 07:41:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17524622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoticautumn/pseuds/chaoticautumn
Summary: Cartman just wants to know why Kyle wears his stupid hat all the time





	stupid hat

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this inbetween writing other stories  
> also like all of my work is around 1600 words??? i dunno man

“Why do you always wear that stupid hat all the time?”

Kyle almost halted at the sudden question, surprise written across his face. He glanced over at Cartman, who was trudging along next to him.

He and Cartman were walking to school that day. Usually Stan and Kenny tagged along on the walk, but Stan had slept in and Kenny had walked with Butters, leaving the rivals alone. Thankfully, nothing had sparked an argument between the two yet.

“My hat’s not stupid, asshole. And why does it matter to you?”

Cartman rolled his eyes. “What, I can’t be curious about it? You’ve been wearing the same thing since 3rd grade.”

Kyle reached up and tugged on the sides of his ushanka self consciously. It wasn’t an unknown fact he didn’t like his mass of red hair and used the green hat to cover it almost all of the time. “So?”

“So I want to know why,” Cartman replied, turning his gaze towards Kyle.

The redhead huffed out an annoyed breath, watching the white plume of air dissipate. “You know why, so stop asking about it.”

“Actually, Kyle,” Cartman said innocently, drawing out Kyle’s name the way he knew Kyle hated. A Cheshire Cat-like grin was curling across his lips and Kyle tensed. “I don’t know why. Maybe you should tell me.”

Kyle clenched his fist, a wave of irritation washing over him. That smile Cartman had was infuriating, and combined with the innocent voice he was using, Kyle wanted to punch something until his knuckles bled. “I said stop asking about it,” he growled threateningly, glaring at Cartman.

Cartman seemed to sense Kyle was getting angry, and his smile grew as he leaned closer, his eyes flashing. “I’ll stop asking when you answer the question, Kyle.”

Kyle sighed. He wasn’t going to be left alone until he did answer the question, and the ginger really didn’t want to have to deal with Cartman more than he already had to. “I just - don’t like my hair, alright? Now, will you leave me alone?”

Cartman hummed as though he was deep in thought, but Kyle knew he already had the question ready. “Can I see it?”

Kyle tensed and reached up to tug on his ushanka again, gripping the green fabric hard. “See what?” His piercing eyes trained on Cartman, knowing exactly what the brunette wanted.

“Your gross ginger hair, dipshit. I want to see it.” Cartman started to reach out for the hat, but Kyle batted his hand away.

“What the hell? Why?” Kyle demanded, stepping away from the bigger boy.

Cartman rolled his eyes and made another grab at Kyle’s hat. “‘Cause I want to, asswipe. Now let me see it.” He punctuated the end of his sentence with yet another unsuccessful swipe at Kyle.

“Dude, no!” Kyle dodged his attempts easily, fixating a glare on the brunette. “Fuck off!”

“C’mon, Kyle, it’s not going to hurt anybody!” Cartman complained, crossing his arms childishly.

Kyle reflexively rolled his eyes at the display. “Why the hell do you have a sudden fascination with my hair? It’s not like you’ve never seen it before.”

The ginger had barely finished speaking when he was tackled to the grass below him, hitting the ground with a harsh thud. He laid still for a moment, dazed by the impact, then realized there was a heavy weight crushing him.

Cartman looked down, meeting Kyle’s irritated green gaze with his own honey gold one as a smirk twisted across his lips. “Let me see your stupid Jewish hair, Kyle.”

“Get off, you fat fuck. You’re crushing me,” Kyle grit through his teeth, shifting uncomfortably under the larger boy. They both knew if Kyle really wanted to get up, he would be up, yet the redhead made no move to get Cartman off.

Cartman made another move to grab at his hat, which had miraculously stayed on Kyle’s head during the fall, but his actions seemed more hesitant. Kyle swatted his hand away again, his eyes locked onto Cartman’s. His eyes widened slightly as he felt hands grab both his wrists and pin them to his sides, then raised an eyebrow at the brunette above him. “Dude, how are you gonna grab my hat if both your hands are holding mine at my sides?”

Cartman’s confidence faltered, his grip on Kyle loosening slightly. But after a second, his eyes light up the way they always did after he’d come up with something, and Kyle dreaded that look. “Easy,” Cartman grinned. Kyle stared blankly at him until he felt his arms being pulled together above his head, his wrists overlapping as one of Cartman’s hands managed to tightly grip both of them, keeping him successfully pinned to the ground while Cartman still had a free hand.

Kyle groaned to himself. He shouldn’t have pointed it out and let Cartman eventually realize the problem. The position he was in now wasn’t exactly enjoyable.

The redhead watched Cartman’s hand reach over to his hat, and apprehension coursed through his body. Kyle’s faded hat was a safety blanket to him. Without it, he just felt… wrong. He tried to pull his wrists away from Cartman in an attempt to get his arms free, but the larger boy’s grasp on him was surprisingly strong. Kyle sighed in a rare show of defeat and braced himself for Cartman’s inevitable teasing about the one thing he was truly insecure about. Might as well get it over with. 

Cartman hesitated above him, hand mere inches away from his prize. Kyle glanced up at the brunette, unsure of what was going through the boy’s mind and why he wasn’t being ridiculed at that very moment. But Cartman soon seemed to shake himself off strange pause and pulled Kyle’s hat away, tossing it to the ground nearby.

Kyle winced at the cool blast of air to his head, wanting his hat within his reach the instant it left his hair. He hated how vulnerable he felt without the comfort of its weight. He restlessly shifted under Cartman again, wishing desperately for his hands to be free from the brunettes clutch so this would be over quickly. His eyes flicked around Cartman’s face, trying to gauge his expression.

Cartman’s amber eyes seemed to be transfixed on Kyle’s hair, slowly taking in the sight of the rusty locks glinting in the bright morning sun. Kyle hadn’t had a haircut in a while; it seemed no one in this town knew how to tame his wild curls and it wasn’t as if his mom was willing to drive a few towns over every time Kyle needed a cut, which was often. Cartman’s hand moved towards Kyle again, and Kyle instinctively flinched away from it, despite his restraints, and Cartman dropped his hand to the ground next to the redhead. His grip on Kyle’s wrists had loosened ever so slightly, and Kyle thought about trying to get out from under the brunette, but he realized his squirming would only alert Cartman to his attempts to get free.

The larger boy had leaned closer marginally, his warm breath brushing against Kyle. Kyle watched him with wide eyes, hyperaware of how close they were pressed together. The redhead flinched back again when Cartman raised his hand again, but Cartman ignored it this time.

The brunette touched one of Kyle’s curls softly, then ran his hand through Kyle’s hair, his touch the very definition of gentle, his eyes following his movements. Kyle let out a soft gasp from the back of his throat, definitely not expecting Cartman to do… that. Cartman’s eyes snapped down to meet Kyle’s, molten gold meeting soft viridescent, and his eyes widened slightly, as if he just then realized what position he was in. His eyes flicked down momentarily, almost unnoticeable if Kyle wasn’t looking. Kyle was looking, and knew exactly what Cartman had glanced at.

A flush spread slowly but surely across the back of Kyle’s neck and the bridge of his nose, and as hard as Kyle fought it, the smaller boy knew it was most likely visible. He shifted again, praying Cartman hadn’t noticed it, then caught sight of both of their backpacks splayed across the grass and remembered where they had been going before Cartman had tackled him. The redhead turned to the boy on top of him, narrowing his eyes.

“Let me the fuck up, Cartman. We’re gonna be late for class, and I’m not taking the blame for it,” Kyle hissed, trying to rip his hands from Cartman’s grasp unsuccessfully. Whatever trance had taken hold of them had broken, as was evident by Cartman’s blink of shock. Kyle opened his mouth to repeat his demand, but Cartman surprisingly let go of Kyle and shifted off of him, staring at the ground in front of him and pointedly not looking in Kyle’s direction.

Kyle scrambled to snatch his hat from the ground, brushing it off and pulling it back over his hair. He grabbed both his and Cartman’s bags and tossed the brunette’s near him, then turned to the boy still sitting on the ground. “Uh, dude? You coming?” Kyle asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

Cartman glanced up at him and gave Kyle a strained grin. “Yea, yea, whatever. I’ll catch up to you,” he replied, waving Kyle away with a hand. Kyle could see a light tint of pink spread across the brunette's cheeks.

Kyle hesitated, knowing something was off with the brunette, but decided not to push it after what happened just a few seconds before. He shrugged and turned in the direction of the school, leaving Cartman in the grass.

Just as he approached the gates of the building, he subconsciously touched his fingers to his lips, wondering why Cartman had glanced at them.


End file.
